• (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
• Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
• Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
• Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
• Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
• Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
• (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
• Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
• (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
• Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
• Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
• Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
• (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

when I die I want “#yolo” or “she shouldn’t have swagged so hard” on my gravestone

footmeetsface:

spoon-party-of-bombur:

multipack:

amyeatfeast:

stopthatitssilly:

alexkisu:

multipack:

f is for friends who do stuff without you

u is for uninvited

c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten

k is for krispy kreme yum

this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like

one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the lights were off, my entire family went bowling and forgot about me 

DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA

(via twerkwitme)

roythomasmusic:

tsunderrorist:

if you’re having a bad day here is a baby polar bear being tickled

This is the cutest thing ever.

(via twerkwitme)